Reasons Why You Should and Shouldn’t be in a Relationship

People these days often get into relationships for the wrong reasons.
The main one is that they’re afraid of being alone, but there are
plenty more.

Listed below are reasons why you should be in a
relationship, and reasons why you shouldn’t. If your relationship
has more in the shouldn’t than should category, then it might be
time to re-evaluate things…

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Should

You Trust Each Other

Trust is one of the most important things in a relationship, and
without it a relationship can crumble like a building without a
foundation. It’s important that you not only trust them not to cheat
on you, but also to be honest with you, and to love you no matter
what.

You Want the Same Things
Wanting the same things in life means that you’re more likely to
have a future together, and it’s less likely to be driven by arguments
because you’re already thinking the same thing.

You Can Be Honest With Each Other

Honesty, like trust, is another important factor in a relationship. In
order to trust someone, they must be honest with us. If they cannot
do that – or you cannot do that with them – it shows a lack of
respect towards the other person.

You Respect Each Other
Respect is important. Without respect, we get used as doormats. If
your partner is using you as a doormat, they don’t respect you.
Relationships should be about equality, and if one of you is wearing
trousers up to their nipples whilst the other is wearing a belt-sized
miniskirt, something is wrong.

You Can Compromise
Compromise is important in a relationship because it shows that
you respect the other person’s wishes, and that they respect yours.
When you compromise in a relationship it shows that what both of
you want is important but you know that sometimes you can’t
always want the same things and must therefore find middle ground.

Your Friends Approve
Your friends know you better than anyone, and they’re the ones that
have to put you back together after a break up. If they approve of
your partner, the chances are that it’s because they think that
you’re good for each other and that your partner makes you happy.
A true friend only ever wants you to be happy.
They Make You Happy
When we have feelings for someone, we can’t help but smile when
we see them. It’s a reflex reaction. If you find yourself
subconsciously smiling and feeling happy around them, it’s a good
sign.

You Bring Out the Best in Each Other
A good, healthy relationship is when you bring out the best in each
other. You inspire each other. You root for each other. You believe
in each other. You motivate each other. You positively glow
whenever you’re around, or have been around, that person. You
make each other happier than anything else in the world. It’s corny,
but that’s what real love does to us all.

Shouldn’t

You Don’t Feel the Same
If one person feels more strongly than the other, particularly if
you’ve been in a relationship for a long time, something is wrong.
In the first stages of a relationship it isn’t so bad, but the longer
you’ve been together, the more important it is that you feel the same
way about each other and want the same things.

You Don’t Communicate
Do you feel like you can’t talk to your partner about things? It
doesn’t matter what you feel that you can’t talk to them about; you
need to be able to talk to your partner about things – any things –
and if you can’t, you need to figure out why.

You’re Being Abused
There is never a reason to stay in a domestically violent
relationship. When you have children, it often does more damage to
the children than leaving (and taking them with you). It doesn’t
matter what type of abuse it is (financial, psychological, physical,
etc), abuse is abuse, and the longer/more you put up with it, the
more your partner will think that it’s ok, and it’s not. There’s also
nothing to stop things from getting worse.

You’re Scared of Being Alone
If you’re only in a relationship because you’re afraid to be alone,
you are most definitely in a relationship for the wrong reason.

You’re only using the other person, which will mean that someone
(most likely both of you) will get hurt. There’s nothing wrong with
being alone, and once you find the confidence to be on your own,
you’re more likely to find someone who loves you for being you.

You’re Using Each Other
Using someone never ends well. It doesn’t matter who’s using who,
or if you’re both using each other, it’s still unhealthy. It shows a
lack of respect, and it means that you get used to treating people
poorly, which won’t serve you well in any relationship.

You Can’t Be You
What’s the point in a relationship where you feel uncomfortable
being who you really are? What attracted your partner was (or
should’ve been) you being you, therefore if you can’t be who you
really are for whatever reason, something is clearly wrong.

You’re Selfish
Selfish people don’t work in relationships. In order for a
relationship to work, you need to put the other person first. Selfish
people don’t do that. If most of the sentences that you say start
with, “I”, there’s a good chance that you’re selfish.

You Only Want Sex
Sex is great. But it’s not the most important thing in a relationship,
and if you’re only interested in sex, perhaps you’re better off just
being fuck buddies.

You Argue Constantly
Whilst it’s inevitable that people in relationships will argue, and
every relationship will go through a phase of frequent arguing, if you
never get out of the arguing phase or lose sight of why you’re
together because of the arguing, it’s time to get out.

You Bring Out the Worst in Each Other
If you don’t like who you are around your partner, and you feel like
they bring out a bad side in you, are you really sure that they’re the
right person for you? Relationships should enhance who we were
before we met our partner, not make us feel angry, depressed, or
hurt.

One thought on “Reasons Why You Should and Shouldn’t be in a Relationship

  1. Pingback: Bye! You’re A Burden Anyway | Revolutionary Paideia

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